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Writer's pictureTim Leach
Aug 57 min read

Mummy Guilt and Self-Care: How to Prioritize Yourself Without Feeling Selfish



Hello to all you Supermums! - the warriors of the home, the masters of multi-tasking and the queens of caregiving. You juggle more tasks before breakfast than most people do all day. But let’s get real for a minute. When was the last time you did something just for you? And no, scrolling through Instagram while hiding in the bathroom doesn’t count.

If you’re like many mums, you probably feel a twinge (or a tidal wave) of guilt at the mere thought of prioritizing yourself. It’s as if the moment you became a mother, you signed an invisible contract that states you must forever put your needs on the back burner. But let me tell you something crucial—self-care is not selfish. In fact, it's essential. Yes, I said it. ESSENTIAL.


The Myth of the Selfless Supermum


Let’s debunk this myth right away: being a selfless supermom is overrated. There, I said it. You’ve been sold a bill of goods by society that says your worth as a mother is directly proportional to how much you sacrifice. The more you give up, the better mum you are, right? Wrong. This isn’t a Hollywood movie where martyrdom gets you a standing ovation.

Imagine you’re on an airplane (remember those?), and the oxygen masks drop. What do they always tell you? Put your mask on first before helping others. Why? Because you’re no good to anyone if you pass out. The same principle applies to motherhood. You need to take care of yourself to take care of your family effectively.


Why Mummy Guilt is So Pervasive


Mummy guilt—oh, that insidious little gremlin that whispers in your ear every time you think about doing something for yourself. Where does it come from? A cocktail of societal expectations, family dynamics, and that internal critic who just won’t shut up.

Here’s a newsflash: Guilt is an emotional leech. It sucks the joy out of life and leaves you feeling like you’re perpetually failing. Let’s kick that guilt to the curb. How? By recognizing that it’s okay to take care of yourself. You have the right to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled. And guess what? When you are, your family will benefit too. Happy mum, happy family. Happy wife, happy life!


The Importance of Self-Care


Self-care isn’t about indulgence; it’s about survival. Think of it as maintenance for your most valuable asset—YOU. Your mental and physical health are the foundation upon which your family’s well-being rests.


Consider this: How effective are you when you’re running on fumes? Not very. Self-care refuels your tank, boosts your resilience, and enhances your ability to be present and engaged with your loved ones.


Types of Self-Care


  1. Physical Self-Care: Exercise, nutrition, sleep—these are the basics. No one’s asking you to run a marathon (unless that’s your thing), but find some form of physical activity that you enjoy. Whether it’s a brisk walk, yoga, or dancing around the kitchen to your favorite tunes, just move. And for heaven’s sake, try to get some sleep. The dishes can wait.

  2. Emotional Self-Care: This involves managing your emotions and finding healthy outlets for stress. Journaling, talking to a friend, or even a good cry can be incredibly therapeutic. And hey, if all else fails, there’s always chocolate and Netflix.

  3. Mental Self-Care: Stimulate your mind. Read a book, take up a new hobby, or challenge yourself with puzzles. Keep that brain of yours sharp and engaged. Remember, you’re more than just a chauffeur and chef; you’re a brilliant individual with interests and passions.

  4. Social Self-Care: Relationships are crucial. Make time for friends and family who uplift and support you. Social interactions can be a great way to recharge, gain perspective, and have a laugh.

  5. Spiritual Self-Care: Whether it’s meditation, prayer, or simply spending time in nature, find what feeds your soul. Spiritual self-care helps you connect with something larger than yourself, providing peace and perspective.

Practical Tips for Prioritizing Yourself


Alright, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. How do you actually make self-care a priority without feeling like a guilty mess? Here are some practical tips to get you started:


1. Schedule It


If it’s not scheduled, it’s not real. Put your self-care activities on the calendar just like any other appointment. Whether it’s a workout, a coffee date with a friend, or a bubble bath, treat it as non-negotiable. And no, it’s not selfish. It’s necessary.


2. Delegate and Let Go


You don’t have to do everything yourself. Delegate tasks to your partner, kids, or hire help if you can. And here’s the kicker—let go of the idea that it all has to be perfect. The world won’t end if the laundry isn’t folded just right or if the kids eat cereal for dinner once in a while.


3. Set Boundaries

Learn to say no. Your time and energy are limited resources, so spend them wisely. Setting boundaries is not about being mean; it’s about being clear on what you need to maintain your well-being. And guess what? People will respect you more for it.


4. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is about being present in the moment without judgment. It’s a powerful tool for reducing stress and increasing joy. Whether it’s through meditation, deep breathing, or simply paying attention to the present moment, make mindfulness a part of your daily routine. At The Mindful Baker we are always ready to help, so contact us whenever!


5. Connect with Other Mums


There’s strength in numbers. Connect with other mums who understand what you’re going through. Share tips, vent, and support each other. A strong community can make a world of difference.


6. Celebrate Small Wins


Give yourself credit for the little things. Made it through the day without losing your cool? That’s a win. Managed to squeeze in a workout? Another win. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small.


7. Practice Self-Compassion


Be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough. Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. Remember, you’re human, not a superhero.


Common Self-Care Myths


Let’s tackle some common myths that keep moms from prioritizing self-care:


Myth 1: Self-Care is Selfish


Reality: Self-care is essential for your well-being and your ability to care for others. You can’t pour from an empty cup.


Myth 2: I Don’t Have Time for Self-Care


Reality: You don’t have time NOT to care for yourself. Even small moments of self-care can make a big difference.


Myth 3: Self-Care is Expensive


Reality: Self-care doesn’t have to cost a thing. A walk in the park, a quiet moment with a cup of tea, or a good book are all excellent forms of self-care.


Myth 4: Self-Care is a Luxury


Reality: Self-care is a necessity. It’s not about indulgence; it’s about survival and thriving.


The Comic Relief: Laugh at the Absurdity


Let’s face it, the whole concept of mummy guilt is a bit absurd when you think about it. You’re literally trying to feel bad for wanting to be a functional human being. That’s like feeling guilty for needing oxygen. And yet, here we are.

So let’s inject some humor into the situation. The next time you feel guilty for taking a moment for yourself, imagine explaining your guilt to an alien. “Yes, I feel terrible because I took a 15-minute nap instead of folding laundry.” The alien would probably think you’re nuts. And they’d be right.


Real-Life Stories: Because You’re Not Alone


Sometimes, it helps to know that you’re not the only one feeling this way. Here are a few real-life stories from moms who’ve managed to prioritize self-care without the guilt:


Story 1: Sarah’s Solo Coffee Runs


Sarah, a mother of two, found herself constantly frazzled and exhausted. One day, she decided to take 30 minutes each morning to have coffee by herself at a local café. At first, she felt guilty, but soon she realized those quiet moments made her a more patient and present mum. Now, her solo coffee runs are a cherished part of her routine.


Story 2: Emily’s Yoga Practice


Emily, a single mom, struggled with finding time for herself. She decided to start practicing yoga at home after her kids went to bed. It became her nightly ritual—a time to unwind and reconnect with herself. The benefits were immediate: better sleep, reduced stress, and a happier mindset.


Story 3: Lisa’s Weekend Getaways


Lisa, a mother of three, felt overwhelmed by the constant demands of motherhood. She began taking short weekend getaways every few months to recharge. The guilt was intense at first, but she quickly saw how these breaks made her more energized and loving when she returned home.


The Final Word: Embrace Your Worth


Mums, it’s time to rewrite the narrative. You are not just caregivers; you are individuals with your own needs and desires. Embrace your worth. Prioritize yourself. Remember, self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. You deserve to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled. When you take care of yourself, you’re not only benefiting yourself but also setting a powerful example for your children.


So, the next time mummy guilt tries to rear its ugly head, shut it down with a fierce reminder: “I’m worth it. My well-being matters.” And if that doesn’t work, imagine explaining your guilt to that alien again. Trust me, it’s a game-changer.


Now go out there and be the phenomenal, self-caring supermum you were always meant to be. You’ve got this. And if you want a bit of reasurrance from The Mindful Baker at one of our workshops which you can do on your own or with a bunch of other super mums, all you have to do is book it up here.


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