I Thought I Had Dementia. Turns Out, It Was the Algorithm.

I recently noticed something slightly… off. A momentary pause in the smooth hum of my mind. I’d be thinking about something, not even a big thing, just a small, passing mental flicker, and then poof. Gone. Completely vanished. Like a ghost of a thought. A dream fragment that slips away the second you try to hold onto it.

At first, I brushed it off. But then it started happening more often. Just little things: forgetfulness not rooted in age or stress, but in this oddly slippery feeling, like my brain was buffering.

And then came the pesto incident.

Now, I’ve made pesto every week for years. Basil, garlic, pine nuts, parmesan, olive oil. It’s so ingrained in me that I could make it blindfolded while reciting mindfulness affirmations and dancing the Macarena.

But after a brief pesto hiatus of about a month, I whipped up a batch and something felt... off. It tasted unfinished. I couldn’t figure it out. I even thought, “Maybe the basil’s a bit tired. Maybe it’s the pine nuts?” And then, after standing in the kitchen like an idiot for ten minutes contemplating the flavour of leaves, it hit me: I’d forgotten the bloody parmesan, which, to be honest, is the whole point of pesto. The one thing you absolutely need for it not to just taste like herby mulch.

And that, more than the momentary memory lapses, really got to me.

Am I falling apart?

Naturally, I did what any sane person does in the face of forgetfulness: I Googled “early-onset dementia symptoms” and started catastrophising.

Some of the symptoms did sound familiar… but then again, I’ve been dealing with post-head-injury brain quirks for 18 years now, occasional word-finding issues, trouble concentrating, not recognising people I know fairly well, wandering thoughts. That’s not new. That’s part of my normal.

What was new was the increased frequency of these sudden thought blackouts. And they were accompanied by a weirdly familiar feeling, the same sensation I get when I try to remember a dream I just woke up from. That hazy, frustrating “I just had it” moment. Except this was happening while I was awake.

That’s when I had a bit of a eureka moment: it’s the content.

Death by dopamine

I’ve been watching a fair amount of YouTube recently. But not the long stuff. Not documentaries or interviews or educational deep-dives that serve a purpose.

No, I’d been mindlessly scrolling through YouTube Shorts. You know, those rapid-fire videos that deliver exactly 0.7 seconds of entertainment before your brain demands the next hit.

I never watch them when I use the YouTube app on the TV, interestingly, because that requires more commitment. But on the laptop? It’s like crack. Just one more. Then another. Then another. You don’t even remember why you opened the browser. You just… scroll.

And let’s be honest: they’re completely pointless.

They’re not inspiring. They don’t teach you anything. They don’t even stick. They’re like fast food for your attention: cheap, greasy, and you’re still hungry five minutes later.

The digital diet that’s eating our minds

Here’s what I’ve realised: this isn’t just a me problem. This is a human brain problem.

Short-form content hijacks your attention. It teaches your mind that if something isn’t instantly rewarding, it’s not worth your time. It breaks your ability to hold a thought, stay present, or, heaven forbid, be bored for a few moments.

We’ve created a digital landscape where stillness is punished and endless noise is the norm. And we're praising it because “at least the kids aren’t out getting into trouble.”

But if you ask me, a child glued to an algorithm designed to erode their attention span is already in trouble.

And adults aren’t immune either. The difference is that kids don’t have pesto to forget.

So what now?

Well, I’ve stopped watching short-form content. Cold turkey. I’m switching to long-form videos, things with narrative, structure, purpose. Things that give my brain a chance to settle, not just react. It's weirdly not actually that easy, the pull is strong, but I'm already noticing a shift.

I’ve also reintroduced a bit of mindfulness to my screen time. I now ask myself:

• Why am I opening this app?

• What do I want to get out of it?

• Will I remember any of this in 10 minutes?

That pause is enough to reclaim control.

And that’s really what this is all about, reclaiming control. Over your attention. Your thoughts. Your inner pace. Your cheese.

Because if you let the algorithm drive, don’t be surprised when you end up somewhere you don’t recognise, tired, foggy, forgetful, and pesto-less.

So if you've felt a little mentally scrambled lately, don't panic. You're not broken. You're probably just overstimulated. Shut off the Shorts, get back to the long game, and, for the love of parmesan, give your brain a break.

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